5 o’clock. It’s closing time and hunger is beginning to strike.

It’s been a long day and the thought of yesterdays shepards pie when I get home is not an appealing one.

I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. I can’t possible survive the 20 minute drive without sustenance; I’ll have to stop. But where?

My eyes scan the roadside, looking for anything that will satisfy my cravings.

Focus. There’s got to be something round the next corner. I’ve likely ran down many pedestrians, my eyes being glued to shop windows rather than tarmac; but who cares? As long as I get my food, their sacrifice will have been worth it.

Then it appears. Over the horizon like a shining oasis on this cold, dark Tuesday afternoon.

The Golden Arches. The glorious ‘M’. McDonalds. Is there a greater sight?

My body knows I’m close now. Stomach beginning to rumble, mouth watering.

I can almost smell my impending reward. Just one more exit…

Disaster! I began to daydream and find myself stranded in the wrong lane.

My route is blocked – but sharnt be for long. I am willing to sacrifice others in my Pursuit of Happy-meal.

I’ve made it! The warm glow of golden signage welcomes me in. Now, to the drive thru!

No need for a menu, I’ve been imagining this meal for the last half hour, I know what I want.

Those glorious words: ” Can I take your order?”

Placed. Now for the difficult turn.

However, I am experienced, I can do the drive thru slalom in my sleep. Window 2; thank the stars for contactless payment.

One last hurdle now – just the wait. I’m so close! The anticipation is almost too much to bear.

But then comes the rage.

That sheer hatred that comes from deep within my soul. The kind of rage that can only stem from the combination of mild hunger, a tiresome day and a prolonged wait.

I look to my right, and glare at this agent of misery that has said the only four words that could make me feel as if my soul has been ripped out…

“No,” I say, in a tone of pure disgust, “I will not park in bay one.”